Vol. XVIII - The way my creativity is

Sunday 6/3/2018 10:25

My creativity set up like me. Unorthodox, far from normal defined by our culture. Crazy in fact the way i’m engineered. I gain creative energy when the moon illuminates overhead. I’m a nightcrawler, a sane one not Jake Gyllenhaal. Society calls us “insomniacs”. We’re creatures from a different time. Our motor does not rise with the chickens & Mr.Reif’s trumpet, it doesn’t set with the sun. Our energy is infinite so to speak. My creativity has always been more powerful during the night. Not much supervision growing up so I roamed the nightlands alone. Surfing the web on dial up in Norma’s living room. Youtube, RPG games, & Dragonball.blogspot.com on the web. Makes me sound old but i remember dial up. You needed two phone lines to work it. So my room upstairs had the 2nd house phone.

My creativity is hard wired. It comes like waves rushing ashore, starts shooting across the sky, etc. etc. By regular social norms i’m far from it. & that’s what makes me Shif. I’ve always took pride in being different, I never wanted to be a follower. But I was always kinda hesitant to speak my mind. So I expressed myself thru the Zebra [pen]. Writing helped me, it guided me when I was younger. I feel asthough with all the years of training & many more to come i’ll be able to dig from my well & pull up all types of refreshing memories along with construction of new ones.

My creativity is my essence, it’s my mystery, the foundation of my soul.

6/5/2018 translated via Journal Entry K. Wykee 13:00 Tuesday

Vol. XIII - A perception of a perception [5/28/2018]

4:13

“we’re living in a perception of a perception meaning that, I am what you think, I think you think I am” [Khomari S. 5/20/18 - 19:29]

If I were to expand on this based on some philosophy notes i’d make sense of it by saying we are living based off others perception of us. There is duality to this physical realm and being mortal. Within our physical body we have “the id & the ego”. Some say the soul is comprised of 3 forms of consciousness, the subconscious, the conscious, & 3rd type. The conscious is the creative process, it is the artist presenting itself to the masses. The subconscious is the creative impulse behind the artist. The entity that lives inside of us is a uncontrollable extroverted force. The 3rd type is planted in the soil of our souls. It is our foundation.

In combination with the unconscious and conscious mind, it’s the artist doing what she or he believes is their purpose for being here. It is why we are so misunderstood because we follow guides that stray us away from our true path. Our souls our made up of “dormant complexes”, hidden away in our conscious. Sometimes they awake & draw energy or water a specific seed so to speak. Possessing the conscious mind & forcing it to create. Basically a soul within your soul hi-jacking your rational mind & controlling you as it deems fit. Once it is finished, the party is over and the complex goes back to being dormant.

A twister may currently rampage over your mind. We as people are all artist, we all lust for a sense of belonging. The way we present ourselves plays a great role in our maturity and unification as a people. Every person in our lives has a different perception of us. Sometimes to compensate we wear mask and show are face down cards to those who are worthy or trusting of your essence. We should allow a Jaguar to circle to perimeter of our essence it is more valuable than gold, and foreign invaders plot as dormant complexes it may be hard for some souls to differentiate.

6/3/2018 translated via Journal Entry K. Wykee 12:34

As a Scorpio Vol. II

To Scorpio

I give a very difficult task. You will have the ability to know the minds of other people, but I do not permit you to speak about what you learn. Many time you will be pained by what you see, & in your pain you will turn away from me & forget that it is not i, but the perversion of my idea, that is causing your pain. You will see so much of mankind that you will come to know them as animals, & will wrestle so much with the animal instincts in yourself that you may lose your may; but when you finally come back to me, Scorpio, I have for you the supreme gift of purpose.

Via Zodiac Society translated to white paper 1/12/19 [12:46] EST.

Vol. XXXIV - 1:54

10/17/2018 - Gucci Mane Day.

My obsession with invisibility & time travel are unique to me. Why not zombies of all things??

Invisibility because that’s how I feel on the inside sometimes. Like a fly on the wall.

Time travel because i’ve watched Back to the Future one too many times. I still find that shit weird that that’s my birthday. The day Marty went back. Eh, just a coincidence. I stand 5’8 from the ground bare foot, & id love to give away most my of fortune if a acquired any wealth, also not many things of this time seem to interest me. Atleast nothing i’ve been seeing on the regular. Then again we’re light beings, moving toward more virtual realities [Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Reddit]. Online cafeteria tables separated by popular kids, nerdy kids, jocks, & black kids at the loud table. Places where nothing is what it seems & jokes cover up harsh realities.

Time travel because i’d love to go back. Back before this land was taken over by colonizers. Back when everything was lush & vibrant. Back to see “History” for myself. To experience life in a different era.

Invisibility because thats what I am. I’m present but not attentive most the time. I’m lacking in confidence even though i’m infinite. My mind seems stretched but my soul powers this vessel i’m tethered too. Maybe a lingering control drama from not experiencing the love I wanted when I was younger.

Time travel because I feel as if I don’t belong here. My orbit is within Pluto, distant from the warmth of the Sun.

Invisibility because being a wall flower best suits my comforts.

Funny thing is time is not linear as we believe. We lose track of it if we aren’t glued to a clock & we are perfectly imperfect beings. How can time actually be what it says it is? Lol, I got some trust issues.

Invisibility because I like to be sometimes, there in the moment observing, lurking like a detective, unbothered. I’m a scorpio after all.

Time travel because the thought has always intrigued me.

10/17/2018 translated via Journal Entry K.Wykee 2:49

Ennui - 03:06

What scares me is this sense of lost i feel. Shit I feel suffocated most the time. It’s mental shit that I have difficulty explaining. Being black and angry most the time don’t help. The consensus among us folk is that shit doesn’t exist unless we say it does and that we should repress our feelings. Closing them in and burying the key in the closet, in the biggest hole we can dig ourselves. A piece of our soul buried adrift, lingering & disrupting our daily lives. Reality is that most of us suffer from crazy PTSD linked from past trauma. I feel this feeling that I have is holding me back, but i’m generally confused with my environment. With my role. Is it to accept the role society has laid out for me? Eh.. my spirit too rebellious for that, if you know my parents you’ll understand the animal your dealing with. Still right now for me is spiritual & emotional growth. Improvement from all past mistakes. Problem for me is I have no fire at this moment in time. Yeah, I got to survive but other than that my aura been in sometype of limbo.

I’m writing to be honest with myself to address my issues, my flaws. I’m certain I’m in the correct direction cuz writing this ain’t comfortable. Or maybe i’m not use to being real with myself. Still figuring out life ain’t as bad, i’m just impatient & wanna understand everything this world has to offer without learning or experiencing it. Alls I have to do is take my time, observe my emotions, & guard my aura. Everything will come, all my answers & understanding.

2/16/2019 translated via yellow paper K.Wykee