I still remember freshman year,
Busza had us running them Friday 12 mins before film of yesterdays game.
7 Laps in under 12 mins. A military form of training we endured as youngins.
I paced myself behind you trying to be sneaky. You lapped me.
I let you finish before me & then I came in for a landing.
I went over to get a drink of water thinking the coast was clear.
You casually walked up to me & whispered into my ear, to not embarrass me…
“You still have one more to go”
I did 6 laps & I needed to complete the 7th.
I took off immediately finishing my last lap.
You were watching me the whole time.
You finished first & you still had the state of mind to police us.
I idolized you, we went to war together, we endured Radnor together.
Football without you sophomore & junior year was so trash bro.
I began to dislike the sport I loved with all my soul.
Then Senior Year came around & there you were.
That shit warmed my spirit.
Then we had camp and you clipped my ankle at practice & I played the whole year 75%
Hurting our teams performance & not assuming the leadership spot. Deferring to King & Staples.
We beat LM & Nothing Else Mattered.
Football finished & again we spit up.
Graduation came & we took the Football Pic & You weren’t there.
I didn’t call it out but something felt off.
Then I got the news…… idk from maybe the FB Group.
All the seniors & players that were touched by you, showed up at the weight room in your honor.
We gravitated there. We didn’t plan on meeting there. We just were.
Then Melvin told me..
You always battled mental illness. He told me you weren’t always right. That things were not always okay.
But by this point it was too late.
I wanted to take out my frustration on him.
Why had no one told me all this time? Me & you played football together since i’ont know 8th grade.
How did I not see the signs?
Oh the power of your Smile.
You had me fooled into believing everything was okay Dan.
Why didn’t you come talk to me bro?
All the suicides & death we seen at that school & yours still shakes me till this very day.
Im so scared I still haven’t been able to find the strength to look your Mother in her eyes & apologize.
Because I feel responsible. Even more than I should because we were so close yet so distant.
She is staying strong, She is a powerful Woman, an Omega.
Bro, I’m sorry.
Deeply because all I can think about is the pain you must have been feeling.
Taking that long drive by yourself preparing for death on your lonesome.
Why did you think you couldn’t come to me?
I was always at the black table or whatever but none of that ever mattered.
I thought because we played football that we were bigger than high school politics.
I still see your smile when I think of you.
I refer to it when I’m down & having a bad day.
You taught me a valuable lesson about cutting corners.
& how you cannot in order to get to the places we need to be in life.
I Love You Brother. I Wish Your Spirit Safe Passing. You are Missed Everyday.
You May Be Gone but You Live In the Hearts & Minds of Every Person You’ve Touched.
please forgive me.
Via Shif.
Message Sent 4/3/2019 [15:45]