What scares me is this sense of lost i feel. Shit I feel suffocated most the time. It’s mental shit that I have difficulty explaining. Being black and angry most the time don’t help. The consensus among us folk is that shit doesn’t exist unless we say it does and that we should repress our feelings. Closing them in and burying the key in the closet, in the biggest hole we can dig ourselves. A piece of our soul buried adrift, lingering & disrupting our daily lives. Reality is that most of us suffer from crazy PTSD linked from past trauma. I feel this feeling that I have is holding me back, but i’m generally confused with my environment. With my role. Is it to accept the role society has laid out for me? Eh.. my spirit too rebellious for that, if you know my parents you’ll understand the animal your dealing with. Still right now for me is spiritual & emotional growth. Improvement from all past mistakes. Problem for me is I have no fire at this moment in time. Yeah, I got to survive but other than that my aura been in sometype of limbo.
I’m writing to be honest with myself to address my issues, my flaws. I’m certain I’m in the correct direction cuz writing this ain’t comfortable. Or maybe i’m not use to being real with myself. Still figuring out life ain’t as bad, i’m just impatient & wanna understand everything this world has to offer without learning or experiencing it. Alls I have to do is take my time, observe my emotions, & guard my aura. Everything will come, all my answers & understanding.
2/16/2019 translated via yellow paper K.Wykee